I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Drake has all the answers
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
