so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
