youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just gift wrapped bread.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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