it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
