There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I fill condoms, not promises.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
