I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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