I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
