trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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