one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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