Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
