He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
