Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
