i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
