two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
