I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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