a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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