i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
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