Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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