Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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