Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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