Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
