I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
