Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I want her autograph on my taint
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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