we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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