All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
