I can't breathe out the right side of my face
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
