Having a random hookup so left but love u
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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