i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
