nutella sex= disaster
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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