And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
