I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
