It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
