I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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