i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize