I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
