I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I wish i was in the wii world.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
