Will you blow on my dice?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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