I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
