Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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