we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize