So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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