I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
vagina is talking i cant
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize