he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
