Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
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