K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Are we still banned from the library?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
