all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
