just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
