Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
