May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
