You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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