God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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