This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i out mim tonsoeep
my penis made a compromise with my morals
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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