If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
