You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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