He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
