Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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