my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
