I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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