well most of my day revolves around power hour
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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