is your mom at the bar?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
