he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize