so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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