seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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